Monday, March 21, 2011

If you've known me for a long time, you most likely know i'm not the most secure person in the world. All my life i've been pretty insecure, and it's only in the last ten years or so that i've started to come out of that. Around my friends I haven't changed much, but i've become much more open since I became a FedEx driver. I can't really say why that's helped, but it has.

So, even though overall i'm happy with myself, there are times when my insecurities creep up and torture me. I was never a popular kid in school, and a lot of the time I was picked on for some reason or another. In high school it didn't get any better. Hell, for a time I stopped going to PE because there were a few douchebags who were making fun of me. Luckily I got away from that shitty high school and got to one where I was much more accepted, and things were never that bad again.

Every once in a while, i'll see a Facebook post that just gets me questioning things. It's my old insecurities creeping up once again. When I think about things, I feel like I don't have anything to worry about, but then again I can't say I really know for sure. Now, I know this problem could easily be rectified by actually talking to them, but it's just hard for me. I'm just afraid of hearing what could potentially be bad news, and I just don't bring up the subject at all. It's hard for me to think about stuff like that, and living with the answer could be painful, but in the end is it worth it?

Is it better to know the truth or to just ignore it and live in bliss?