So, thanks to Ewa, i've come to realize what my relationship with Nicole was after all. I was just the right person at the right time, I guess is one way of putting it. I don't think when her and I started to go out that she meant for our relationship to be that way, but that's just how it worked out. I was there when she needed someone. And in some ways i'm ok with that, and some ways i'm not. I mean, I still have no ill will towards her, I think she's a great person who deserves to be happy, and unfortunately for me, i'm not the one to really make her happy. As much as I would love for us to get back together, I don't think it'll happen, and even if it did I don't think it'd be the best for both of us. I think its better if we just try to remain friends, which is easier said than done. I know that if her and I were to hang out again, the urge for me to just reach out and hug her or give her a kiss or do any of the other boyfriendly things like that would just be too strong. I want to be friends with her, but I don't know if I can be without it hurting me in the long run.

It's all confusing, part of me wants to be friends but the other part is just telling me its a bad idea.