Friday, March 09, 2007

I've been going into Best Buy pretty much every other day for the past two weeks or so looking for the girl I mentioned a few posts back, but to no avail. Today I had to go return something, and of course, she was there. She didn't take care of my return, but she was there. I saw her, and wasn't sure at first if it was the same girl or not, so I wandered around the store a little, trying to refresh my memory. I walked around, and was 99.9% sure it was her, so I went back over to that area, pretending to look at stuff, and trying to wait until she was away from the other guy working at the return area. Eventually she walked away to a nearby computer, to clock out I guess, but I wimped out and didn't go and ask her out. She went off into a back room somewhere, and I wandered around for another 20 minutes or so, and when I didn't see her come back, I left.

So, basically I wasted another perfectly good opportunity because I was too afraid of being rejected. Something that comes so easily to other people is damn near an impossibility in my case, and i'm getting sick of it. This same basic thing happened with Johnna back in the day, I was too afraid to show her how much I cared for her, in case she didn't feel the same way. I know now that not doing that was a huge mistake, and cost me a chance for a real relationship. I beat myself up about it on the drive home, and am determined to not let it happen again, no matter what. I'm going to have a hard time getting the nerve up to ask, but its something I have to do. I can't make this same mistake again, I just can't. I'm going to see if she's there tomorrow, and hopefully get Ben to come along with me and not let me leave until I ask. We'll see how it goes, I guess.


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